The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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