I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
