Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize