she was so not down for the gang bang
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
