I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
