She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
