After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
