Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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