The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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