The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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