return my video game
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
