Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
What changed your mind?
Being sober
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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