I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
someone owes me an orgasm
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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