there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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