Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
