Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?

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(518): View more from New York

He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

like hot dogs and buns.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?

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(775): View more from Nevada

you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!

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