I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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