I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
