You really coming over, don't trick.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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