i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I am full of burrito and curiosity
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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