Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
