That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
