is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
