THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
