I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
