I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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