i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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