You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
