A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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