I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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