Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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