it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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