Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
