none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
