If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
