I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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