My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
