I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize