Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She told me I should be a condom model.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize