bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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