Small penises have feelings too.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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