Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize