My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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