Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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