Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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