He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
