Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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