so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
