i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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