somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
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I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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