Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize