omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize