Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize