Walk of Shame. In a state park.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
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Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
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She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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