I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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