Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
