i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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