I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
