Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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