when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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