I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize